I didn’t think it was possible, but a newspaper is putting forward a plan sure to increase its circulation!
You can use newspapers for cleaning windows:
Clean and polish your windows with crumpled-up newspaper. It dries and polishes windows even better than paper towels? And it’s a lot cheaper too.
You can use newspapers to perform first aid:
Fashion a makeshift splint by folding up several sheets of newspaper until stiff and attach it beneath the limb using a few pieces of adhesive tape. You may need to overlap a couple of folded sheets to make a splint long enough for a leg injury.
Heck, you can even use newspapers to get your car out of a ditch!
Put traction under your wheels Placing a dozen or two sheets of newspaper under each rear wheel will often provide just the traction you need to get your car back on the road.
The only thing the person writing this forgot is that you can also use newspapers to make a hat.
Give the full thing a read. Then have a good cry. (Then buy a paper to wipe away your tears.)