Where’s MacGyver when you need him?

I’m getting downright sick to my stomach reading about Somali pirates. I pay way too many tax dollars to our military industrial complex to let some brigands in a boat with no gasoline keep the US Navy at bay.

Add to that, the captain who is being held hostage attempted an escape — a pretty good time to blow up the boat, I would think — but the pirates caught him and brought him back.

And now the pirates are calling for reinforcements?

From an Associated Press story in today’s Houston Chronicle:

Mohamed Samaw, a resident of the pirate stronghold in Eyl, Somalia, who claims to have a “share” in a British-owned ship hijacked Monday, said four foreign vessels held by pirates are heading toward the lifeboat. A total of 54 hostages are on two of the ships – citizens of China, Germany, Russia, Ukraine, the Philippines, Tuvalu, Indonesia and Taiwan.

“The pirates have summoned assistance – skiffs and mother ships are heading towards the area from the coast,” said a Nairobi-based diplomat, who spoke on condition on anonymity because he is not authorized to talk to the media. “We knew they were gathering yesterday.”

Samaw said two ships left Eyl on Wednesday. A third sailed from Haradhere, another pirate base in Somalia, and the fourth was a Taiwanese fishing vessel seized Monday that was already only 30 miles from the lifeboat.

I’m guessing we’re not a superpower anymore.

To the military genius running this pirate-rescue operation: You must, somewhere, have some aw-shucks guy who can get over there, save the day with some duct tape and a paper clip, rescue the captain and get the girl. Please send him now.

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3 responses to “Where’s MacGyver when you need him?

  1. Yeah! And don’t send warships – send half a dozen SEALs in speedboad with twin-.50s in the bow. Let them make a deal with the pirate-hostage takers:

    “The deal is, you turn over the captain, and you get to live.”

    Maybe.

  2. Pingback: Happy Easter pirates! « Trent Seibert

  3. Not that our moron in Chief would ever do such a thing, but if it were me, I think I’d put a Jstars or an Awacs or two in the air patrolling just outside the 12 mile limit and watch for a hijacking. as soon as one occurred, I’d run the radar film back to see which “mothership” the boats came from and dispatch a FA-18C to go take care of business with the mothership. Then I’d put a frigate on the tail of the hijacked ship (which is probably making a speed run for the coast since they can’t go home the way they came.) with a radioed and bullhorn delivered message that the ship was to stop and prepare to be boarded, if they fail to stop, fire a Bofors round or three across the bow. if they continue to run, sink the bastard and pay the losses off to the owners. after they lose a few of those motherships that way. they’ll start rethinking things. that is when you start hitting the Somali ports. sink every vessel you can in the channel and close the ports. then comes the blockade. halt all naval traffic to and from Somalia including all “humanitarian aid” and put F-16’s on 24/7 patrol over the country with orders to fire on any vehicle found crossing the border. Starve them. Make them beg for mercy. Then carpet bomb the country from stem to stern. leave not a single piece of debris unbounced.

    Then issue a statement on the floor of the UN General Assembly to wit:

    This is a warning to all. Screw with the US at your mortal peril. We will bury you if you do. We will show no mercy, we will show no remorse. We will merely snap our fingers and annihilate you. We are now your masters, get used to it. Now get the hell out of here, you are all on US soil and are not welcome here. You have one hour to clear the building before we destroy it. This organization no longer exists.

    But I’m a bit of a curmudgeon….=D

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